Having paid just over US$5,400 for a 10-night stay, I can barely begin to describe what appallingly bad value this hotel is. As a budget option, it would be just about adequate, but the prices charged are so disproportionate to the rooms, facilities and services offered as to be almost laughable.
That said, there was nothing funny about our stay. From a lack of airport transfer (and a discernible resentment about being asked about it), to having to request several times in one day that one of our rooms be cleaned and the towels replaced, to the fact that there are approximately 12 deckchairs dotted around a pool at a hotel that has 60 rooms and approximately a 240-guest capacity, there was very little in the way of comfort and ease. Beach towels are handed out as if they are holy relics, and lord forbid that you go to the front desk to ask for a new one (yep, the front desk – no friendly poolside cabana here) if you don’t have your old one to trade in. Perhaps they think that you’re snaffling them, the way people used to steal plush hotel bathrobes, but you’d have to be pretty desperate to try to jam one of these threadbare (and often stained) items in your luggage. The real issue is that, due to the scarcity of deckchairs, people lay their towels out at the crack of dawn to nab their spot by the pool, and then other people come along, cast them aside and then take up position. One morning, I found my flip-flops, which I’d left at the bottom of my deckchair, thrown into the surrounding shrubbery. It’s quite literally a jungle out there.
Breakfast is included in the price but whether this makes the hotel better value or worse is debatable: the same three (and very average) options are offered each morning, which would be tedious enough over a 5-night stay but was insufferable over a 10-night one. Add to that the most appalling, over-brewed, bitter and tepid coffee imaginable, and the holiday budget was blown further by having to eat out at one of the many very good, but by no means inexpensive, cafes in the area.
The rooms are exceedingly basic – again, fine for a budget hotel but not for the price charged. Hanging and drawer space is minimal. The bed, while a decent size, is simply a mattress on a slab of concrete, with a faux headboard painted on to the wall behind. The ‘extra’ beds are comprised of a corner sofa (again, thin mattresses on a concrete structure) which, thanks to a raised slab of concrete at its corner join, is impossible for anyone much taller than a small child to sleep comfortably on. When we asked at reception if we could get a camp bed or similar in the room, we were told that nothing could be done. There is no telephone or television (which wouldn’t have been so much of an issue if the WIFI worked well in the bedrooms, but it was really only decent in the public areas). There is, however, a small fridge, some basic cooking facilities, and a coffee machine – but no tumble dryer, which our booking specified as a feature of the room. The bathroom is terribly outdated (ugly, in fact) and offers nothing in the way of nice toiletries – in fact, the soap/ shower gel is dispensed from a plastic ketchup/ mustard bottle; the kind you’d find in a fast-food restaurant. The shower stall is on the same level as the floor, so the tiles get very wet, and the slip risk is high.
Ventilation was poor: each night, we found that our sheets and pillows (which were not changed once during the course of a ten-night stay) felt slightly damp, and each morning, we woke to balcony doors dripping with condensation. On our final morning, as we picked up the jackets we’d had no cause to wear since our arrival, we discovered that they had formed mould on the sleeves. One of my children developed a hacking cough during our stay, although of course this may just have been a bug, and nothing to do with the damp problem.
Speaking with other guests around the pool, we found that we were by no means the only dissatisfied clients – in the words of one, ‘I nearly died when we arrived – I was like, oh no, we’re spending Christmas in a dump!’ For me, it was to be a special birthday trip, as well – something that the manager (a warm and charming, although completely ineffectual woman) appeared to be absolutely delighted by, saying that she was going to organise a special surprise for me. The towels I found origamied into elephants on my bed on the big day were cute, for sure – but boy would I have preferred a complimentary poolside mojito on a readily available deckchair and a beach towel that I didn’t have to beg for like a prisoner standing in line for a sliver of soap.
As an aside, I work in travel and have worked with and stayed in a variety of accommodations during my career. I did question whether my dismay at the AzulPitya was a product of this, but having spoken to my other family members, as well as other guests, I don’t think this is the case. As I say, the accommodation would have been adequate if the price was around half of what it actually was. Needless to say, we won’t be returning.
